Hi! I'm just getting started in writing, and I'm posting some of my experiments and other short stories here. Offline, I'm working on building my "rejection slip collection" with other stories.
Please enjoy the short stories and writing experiments I've posted here. I always enjoy constructive criticism.
I'm very interested in improving my abilities as an author, and I like to experiment with different genres and story ideas when I write. A lot of what I'll be posting here will be somewhat unfinished, I figure I'd rather post and learn what I can than have something never get written because I fret too much about how it will turn out.
Thanks for coming!
25 July 2008
"Hi, Nina!" the tavern keeper said. "What would you like today?"
"The usual," she said. She thought for a moment. "With potatoes," she added. Nina turned to face the old man that was sitting next to her. "Hello, John. How have you been since I've been gone?"
"I've been doing wonderfully, now that the dog and wife have passed on," the old man replied. He grinned maliciously. Nina gave him a Look.
"I see..." she said carefully.
"I can't believe you'd come to a slum like this," a deep, ringing voice muttered. Nina glanced at her sword.
"It happens to be one of the best places round," she growled back.
"What was that? I thought I heard someone talking," the old man said, looking around wildly.
"What? Talking? I didn't hear anything," Nina answered innocently. "Shut up or you'll get us kicked out of ANOTHER inn," she muttered out of the corner of her mouth, apparently directing her comment to her sword on her waist.
"Nothing fools these old ears. I'm telling you, I heard a voice, clear as day," the old man said, eyeing Nina's scabbard. The tavern keeper set Nina's food down in front of her.
"Yeah, yeah. OLD ears, I might note," the voice said slightly louder.
"Shut up, shut up," Nina muttered through a mouth of food.
"I heard it for sure that time!" the old man crowed gleefully. "Did you hear it? Nina? Tavern keeper?" Nina shook her head violently.
"Come on, Nina. I even heard it that time," the tavern keeper said. "It was a rather rude comment."
"Nice, fats. So you can hear, too, huh?" the voice said. The tavern keeper tried to draw himself up to his full height, but only succeeded in his full width. He pointed a trembling finger at Nina. She seemed startled by the finger.
"Was that you who just insulted my customer and me?" the tavern keeper said with indignant fury. Nina sighed. She pulled a handful of coins out of her pocket and dropped them on the counter. She grabbed what food she could, then headed outside. Once she was outside, she leaned against the stable door and started eating as fast as she could. After she had finished, she climbed on to her horse and set off into the night.
"It was true," the voice mumbled.
"Shazimner, take my advice and quit talking," Nina growled. "I don't know why I even bothered to pick you up. Now, all the taverns I went to as a child think I've grown up into some kind of prig." She sighed. She remembered the day she found Shazimner practically like she remembered what just happened in the tavern...
15 July 2008
"Stay!" he commanded the puppy. He turned around to go answer the phone that had been ringing for a while now. "Ahem, hello?" The puppy, sensing Chase's attention elsewhere, gnawed a hole in the playpen's netting, and escaped it to scamper around the house and reek destruction to Chase's newly furnished bedroom. Chase hung up the telephone, jotted down an address, and turned to look at the puppy in the playpen. Chase yelled at the top of his lungs and leapt for his bedroom. He knew Puppy had his eye on those new bed sheets he had just gotten. Chase landed in his door way and stopped dead. The sheets lay on the floor in ruin, along with all his pillows, sofas, game-stations... Chase screamed bloody murder at Puppy, who went scrambling between Chase's legs out into the hallway. Chase slammed the door to his room shut, snatched up Puppy, and dropped it back into the playpen.
"Maybe chicken wire," Chase mused as Puppy began to slip out of the hole it had previously created. Chase grabbed Puppy, grabbed some old cookies and a plastic bowl from his kitchen, then proceeded to his bathroom. Once in the bathroom, Chase closed the door with his foot, then set about to making preparations for Puppy.
Half an hour later of setting up the bathtub for Puppy, repeatedly placing Puppy in the bathtub after its multiple escapes, and stitching up the playpen, Chase finally made his way to the hardware store to get some chicken wire. Upon arriving, he walked up to a clerk and said:
"I've got a new puppy and I need some chicken wire to keep it in its playpen. How many yards would I need?" The clerk's eyes grew large in horror.
"Surely, sir," she said, "You don't intend to IMPRISON the poor thing?!" Chase raised his eyebrows.
"Listen, lady," he said, "I spent over one hundred and fifty bucks buying those sheets. And pillows. And sofas. And game-stations. I think the little mutt can survive a few weeks in a playpen with food and daily walks. Just tell me how much freaking chicken wire I need."
"Keeping an animal caged up like that is animal abuse!" 'Obviously,' Chase thought, 'This woman is dead set on her views.'
"Later," he said as he walked away. He walked up to another clerk who was wandering the store. "I need some chicken wire to go around a playpen." The clerk looked at him funny, then hurried off.
After many clerks and threats later, Chase finally stepped inside his house to see...no Puppy. Hoping he was still where he left him, Chase opened the bathroom door to be greeted by an energetic Puppy.
"Good Puppy. Now, come. I'm going to fix your playpen." And so he set about to work.
Chase crept quietly away from the apartment. Soon his target's spouse would discover the target's motionless body. Thwack! Something small and warm smacked into Chase's chest. Thwack! Thwack! Thwack! Correction, four small warm things. Chase flicked on his flashlight and played it on to the ground. He saw four small, warm, cute little bats, all of which were looking right at him. 'Oh, dear,' he thought. He turned off his flashlight and ran for his car, fiddled with the keys, then climbed through the door and shut it quickly, but not fast enough. Four bright little eyes looked up at him. Four tiny little squeaks were sounded off. Four tiny pairs of teeth went for his finger.
"Aaaiiieee! No! Here! Wanna wanna month old cookie?!" The four little bats squeaked, then flew for the cookie proffered. "Right then. I'm going home. I guess you'll want to come, too?" he said vexely. Four tiny little squeaks agreed. "Crud." And Chase drove home.
10 July 2008
He crept toward the door of the now dead target's house, only to be stopped by a low pitched keening. Chase's neck hairs stood on end as he spun aroundto find...a small puppy? Chase bent over and vaguely patted the small animal, then continued back to the door. He opened the door and stepped out into the cool, dark night. He walked to his car in a dark part of the street and climed in. As he began closing the door, the puppy jumped into his lap. Rather startled by this, Chase looked at the animal in his lap.
"Um, hello?" he said cautiously. The puppy began wagging it's tail so energetically that it practically fell over. It started sticking its nose at Chase's multiple pockets. 'OK,' Chase thought, 'I have now got a hungry puppy. I'm sure this was covered in those assassin classes I slept through.'
"Erm, Puppy wanna din-din?"Chase asked, hoping that this was one of the times that his car hadn't been bugged. The puppy barked happily. "Puppy wanna, uh, Cheetoh wrapper?" The puppy howled at the top of it's voice. "OK, OK!" Chase moaned. "How about, um, this month old cookie?" Chase jerked his hands back as small, sharp teeth attacked the cookie. He watched the puppy eat the cookie, then started the car to drive off. Little did Chase know he would soon have a small possé.
07 July 2008
“I know you don’t listen to me much,” the teacher begins while the students listen attentively, “But there once was a time...”
Several hours later, the teacher finishes: “And that is why penguins should be out-lawed! Oh, yes. The transfer student.” The teacher turns to look for said transfer student. She was of an average height; her hair was a fiery red. She had always been considered a good listener, and so it was a pity that she was now laying on the ground, nearly killed from boredom, just for being polite to her teacher.
“Um, Transfer Student?” the teacher said cautiously. “Someone call the nurse. I believe she’s had a heart attack.”
The transfer student sat glumly by herself in the cafeteria, lost amidst her own thoughts, so that she didn’t notice when two boys from her new class came and sat next to her.
“Hey!” the shorter of the two said. “My name is Alan; this is David.” The shorter one, Alan, indicated the taller boy, David. The two boys sat quietly for a minute, watching the transfer student munch away on her food.
“Oookaay,” David said. “So, what’s your name?” the transfer student continues to ignore them. Or is she just enjoying her lunch?
“Oooh! French fries!” Alan says as he reaches for the transfer student’s food. The transfer student grabs Alan’s wrist and gives him a dirty look. “Heh. Going for the food always get attention,” he said happily. He paused and looked at his wrist. “You know, your hand feels like it’s an iron- AAAAAAARRRRGGGG!” Alan suddenly took flight, literally, pulling his hand out of Transfer Student’s currently aflame hand. David grabbed Transfer Student’s wrist and, with a vexed look in his eye, shoved her hand into a nearby water glass, successfully putting out Transfer Student’s hand.
“Gar! How’d you do that?” Alan moaned. “Do you have a lighter in your hand or something?”
“My name is Mizu,” Transfer Student, or Mizu, said abruptly. “Japanese for water.” Mizu walked away.
“Hey! I’m not done with you!” Alan hollered as he moved to follow Mizu. David grabbed Alan’s arm, then indicated to Alan not to follow Mizu.
“She’s the one,” David muttered.
01 July 2008
Alice walked up to the strip of paper and carefully pulled it out of the liquid. The strip of paper had been soaked through. She dropped the paper and tried to shake the sticky, lumpy liquid off her hand. A drip fell from above into the puddle. She looked up to see where the liquid was coming from. She followed the drips up past several levels until she saw the drips coming from her floor.
She crept carefully up to the stairs, and began to climb. "I could yell up the stairs to scare them," she thought, "But they might try to kill me instead of running. I could get help, but they might get away before I come back."
When she reached the top of the stairs, she peered around the corner and saw that the thick substance was oozing from under a door that was near by. She recognized the door as her own. She walked over and began to unlock her door. She noticed a light and quiet voices behind the door. She stepped back when the door was flung open. Alice blinked in the bright light.
“Surprise!” everybody yelled. “Happy birthday!"
"Sorry about spilling the fruit punch,” someone hollered over the noise of the other people singing 'For She's A Jolly Good Fellow.'